Issue of July 8, 2018
     
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Unfaithful and parental interference

Dear Manang,

I feel different from other women. I married a man who likes to have affairs. My husband comes home to me after the affairs and still supports our children. For this, I am grateful and forgive the unfaithfulness. He tells me that the women spend money on him and he doesn’t need to spend anything while he is away. Am I crazy to love him so much? I think what is important is he keeps his obligations to our three children and is a good father. -- Viola, Monterazzas, Itogon, Benguet

Dear Viola,

I praise you for being so forgiving and kind. You are unique because most women can’t take the betrayal of an affair but you do not seem to feel it. You willingly share your husband or so it seems. You are crazy in love with your husband. Your kind of crazy keeps peace in a marriage. It also seems like your husband has met a perfect match so he keeps his fatherly responsibilities to your children. He is so lucky too. I tip my hat off to you because I can’t share my husband.

You’re cool,

Manang

Dear Manang,

As a young couple, we have to live with my husband’s parents. My husband is also an only child and it is but practical to stay in their house. But it is not a happy place for me because my mother-in-law complains about how I do things. It’s as if she just watches me make mistakes. My father-in-law also constantly reminds me to close lights, fluff the cushions on the sofa, or put things back in their place. I tell my husband but he just says, patience. I am human and I do not need to have two people watching my moves like a hawk. Help! -- Belinda, St. Joseph, Baguio City

Dear Belinda,

You are in for a long haul. You will put up with that for the rest of your life. You will have to do the adjustments because they won’t change for you. Find a job so you have time away from the house and their prying eyes. Of course, when you reach home there will be just a few hours to cooperate with them. You can be pleasant for three hours a day at most. Find out what will make them happy and try to do at least one in a day like fluff the cushions on the way to the dining room. Put plates and bowls back in place as a gesture in the kitchen. Then retreat to your corner of the house. Or else be miserable and eventually split up with your husband.

Find your peace,

Manang

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