Issue of April 15, 2018

Panagbenga Flower Festival
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Silenced and unrequited love

Dear Manang,

Damn if you do and damn if you don’t are descriptive of the reasons why I have resigned to my situation at home. My parents are hard to please. I have been a consistent honor student from elementary to college. But I have never received affirmation for this, not even a thanksgiving dinner or lunch after the school ceremonies. My father flatly remarks that I could have done better, if not best. Is it okay to feel like running away forever to the end of the Earth? I know they won’t miss me because I seem to be invisible anyway.

Cristina -- Bakakeng, Baguio City

Dear Cristina,

Parents have a funny way of showing their love. Some are joyful and full of praise while others are sullen and cold. It has a lot to do with the way they were raised and the disposition of their parents too. For things we dislike about our parents, we tend to do the opposite. What a match your parents must be to both not be celebratory for having an intelligent daughter. Sometimes, too, maybe we expect a lot from our parents. Since you seem to understand your parents more, you are duty bound to be patient. Run away? My dear, God has a way of bringing us back to where we started. Take a short break or just move to the next town because God is wisest.

Restrain yourself,


Dear Manang,

In how many ways does a man have to prove his love for someone? I don’t know why this girl that I love isn’t responding to my love. Instead she seems to be drifting away. What do women really expect? I am still single at 55. I have yet to see and feel a woman reciprocate the love I want to share.

Johnny -- San Nicolas, Pangasinan

Dearest Johnny,

Single men at your age must be picky. Your type of woman is difficult to find and yet when you find her she probably has a different standard too. The fatalist in me says that the woman destined for God has not yet chosen you. God must be picky too about your future partner. Sometimes women are easily flattered by gifts and measure sincerity by the quantity and quality of gifts. Some are impressed with kindness alone. There is no tried and tested formula to please a woman. Change circles of friends, you might be in the wrong company.

Trust God,


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