Issue of July 15, 2018
     
NEWS
Benguet
Kalinga
Mt. Province
 
OPINION
 

2018
Panagbenga Flower Festival
 
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Menggay at iba pa

First things first. Thank you to all our sponsors and golfers who made the 17th EMA Cup golf tournament at Camp John Hay a huge success.

Congratulations are in order to the champion par busters: Class A champion – Jojo Nicolas; first runner-up – John Marasigan; second runner-up – Hur Yun;

Class B champion – Edwin Macgui-ing; first runner-up – Mars Garcia; second runner-up – Mimi Conde and Jonathan Lacambra;

Class C champion – Harley Palangchao; first runner-up – Meldz Cortez; second runner-up – Robert Manrique;

Special Awards: Most accurate drive, hole no. 3 – Frank Manalo (3 inches); Nearest to the pin, hole no. 18 – Frank Manalo (345 centimeters); Longest drive – Jojo Nicolas (200 yards); Most exercised – Sammy Salvador. Fore!

* * * * * * * * * *

Manny Tibayan, a former barangay captain, dropped by my office last Monday and among others, the loose talk centered on a common friend Erap, a former president now Manila Mayor Joseph Ejercito Estrada. It’s really been a long time – drinking Johnny Blue at the Manor until the wee hours, gossiping about women, most of the time and men too, eating his favorite “bakalaw” at his Canadian pinewood home, or just reliving Erap jokes like these ones:

Erap shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the islands be connected by flyovers.

Genie: I’m not that good. Make another wish!

Erap: Okay. Make me intelligent!

Genie: Can I see the map again?

* * * * * * * * * *

Erap went to France to watch the World Cup. He was toured around by a French official. “Mr. President, this is Joan of Arc. Do you know her?”

Erap: Of course. She’s Noah’s wife.

* * * * * * * * * *

Erap is a little bit confused on what surname to use. Estrada or Ejercito so he asked his advisers, and they all suggested, “Sir, toss coin na lang,” and Erap happily agreed. He now told everyone to start calling him President Joseph Tosscoin.

* * * * * * * * * *

How are a San Miguel beer bottle and Erap alike?

They are both empty from the neck up.

* * * * * * * * * *

Why did Erap stare at a can of frozen orange juice?

Because it said, “concentrate.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Why was Erap proud for finishing a puzzle in only six months? The box said, “Two to four years!”

* * * * * * * * * *

Why can’t Erap dial 911? He cannot find the 11 on the phone.

* * * * * * * * * *

How can you tell if Erap has been using your computer?

There are white-out (snopake) all over the monitor.

* * * * * * * * * *

Erap and Tito Sotto were observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

Tito: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked.

Erap: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, it’s starting to rain and the top is down.

* * * * * * * * * *

Happy birthday to Menggay on her 31st this Tuesday. It would be her last as a single lady as she enters a new phase in her life come September. The world is full of uncertainties except for family who will always be here for you! We love you to the moon and back! Cheers! Sigh.

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