Issue of February 3, 2019

Panagbenga Flower Festival
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Aira Karell

She was one of those girls whom you simply fall in love with. She was smart, articulate, and she always had a kind word for everyone. Falling in love with her is inevitable. I always looked forward to hanging out with her. I was down for her like a moth to a lamp. She has a way of making everything seem better. With her, the sky seems bluer than the retina display on the new IPad. She made me see this world as a place where fairy tales do happen.

Perhaps you have heard tales like this – boy meets girl, and predictably falls in love with her. The boy thinks she’s the love of his life. It’s such a cliché, I know, but it does make for a good Marc Webber movie, “(500) Days of Summer.” Man, if only my life was a movie, I would not have to go through the pain of it all.

But then again, I would not have experienced the joy, the ecstasy, the exhilaration I felt when I was with her. Well, I say, you simply have to take the good with the bad. I love her. I couldn’t stay angry with her.

I used to believe true love never dies. I’ve experienced being loved so deeply and intensely. She showered me with so much love and affection and I felt secure and confident. I’ve never met any woman as dedicated, unselfish, and loving. I felt so blessed. We would always greet each other during our monthsaries. Our text message always ended with I love you’s. We had disagreements but I honestly don’t remember any instance when we shouted or hurled snide remarks at each other. I cringed whenever I’d see couples fighting or arguing relentlessly.

Then there is what I call the holding patterns in one’s life. These are the times when we lose jobs, relationships, and trust; when we await the decision about something we have long been praying for.

In these holding patterns, everything is uncertain and ambiguous that we cling with dear life to the Almighty above. Each ending only heralds that we begin again, we mourn and weep for what is temporarily or permanently lost. We are always guided and given the courage to begin no matter how long and how often it takes.

There is a prayer that I love, and one that I always say for loved ones: “Lord, stand in the gap, fill the emptiness and loneliness, and keep my love one safe, until we meet again.” The prayer becomes my mantra, a promise I hold on to that soothes my heart.

The last memory you have of someone must always be one that is filled with joy. Live with a heart filled with peace and joy and not with an angry one. I have found that prayer is the only bridge that will see us through. In prayer, one not only asks, but listens for guidance. Prayer is what strengthens the heart and gives it courage; fills it with peace and positive anticipation.

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